Wrenching open my mind

I need more of the right kind of women in my life.  The only way I can explain it is that the vast majority of my experience has been these repeated interlocking relationships where I have had a limited understanding of females and they have had their own things and we’ve all been dysfunctional and doing the wrong things with the best intentions.

These next few links are why I have to get that out.  Because I do desperately wish I could have learned this a long damn time ago.  These are things I need to learn from.

4 Things That Happened When I Stopped Denying My Borderline Personality Diagnosis

How to Apologize When You Get Called Out

What What It Means to ‘Hold Space’ for Someone

How to hold space for yourself first

Emotional colonization

Leave space for others to fill your needs

On holding space when there is an imbalance in power or privilege

I do have my own feelings about what I am hearing as a blanket negative message about men, IE the feminist term “patriarchy”.  What I hear is something along the lines that all men are bad, therefore I am bad personally.  Some of that is my own past and experience.  So I’m trying to look at it a bit.

Patriarchal Society

I don’t know if I’m ever going to be satisfied to embrace that blanket of a concept.  For me, it seems to set up an automatic negative interpretation.  And I’ll definitely agree that the impact of an action is something I need to be much more aware of, I do feel intention counts for something.

I feel that being open the the intent also opens a door to create a better understanding of what is really needed.  My issues with poor communication with women were largely caused by specific women making specific choices.  Until recently, intent was the best I had.  That is not something I should feel shame or guilt about.  Nor do I feel it is acceptable, respectful or compassionate of the fact that I am not perfect.

No one, gets to hold me to a standard or perfection.  I shouldn’t be doing it to myself even.

And that is how I feel about it.  And I’m not going to bother trying to figure out if intent is “good” or “bad”.  It’s just something to consider as far as I’m concerned.



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